Because I am embarking on another good old life transition--transition out of competitive skating, transition into my thirties--this new adventure has already felt like a bipolar roller coaster. One day I am up, one day I am down, and many days I am “up up up” (which is what my new French friend Charlene calls being drunk.) But I am just kidding about that, Mom and Dad.
When I think about choosing not to compete anymore, I feel content. When I think about doing what I am doing now for a large chunk of my life, I feel hesitant. I know where I am not supposed to be, but not quite sure where I am supposed to be now. Make sense? It’s okay if not. I am going somewhere with this that is far less confusing. Promise.
Because I am unsure if I have found the perfect fit, the idea of committing to this tour life for years on end is overwhelming. BUT when I think of this as my backpacking through Europe year, it feels pretty perfect.
A lot of college-aged kids do that backpacking through Europe thing or a semester or two studying abroad. Because of training, that is an experience a lot competitive skaters miss out on, including myself.
Well now I get to have that experience, but on a pretty cushy level. Which is weird to say because things like our accommodations are not cushy in the least. BUT if I were backpacking through Europe, they would be! See how that works? If you look at your life through the “I am backpacking through Europe lens,” everything looks a lot nicer. Try it sometime.
So far I have visited Utrecht and Amsterdam in the Netherlands, and Offenburg, Hamburg, Bremen, Grefrath, Dortmund, and Rostock in Germany. Right now I am en route to Erfurt. On a bus! Cushy for a backpacker, right? And I didn’t have to arrange the bus, pay for the bus, or transfer to another bus.
Also, I don’t actually have to carry a backpack as I backpack through Europe. I have two Samsonite rolling bags. One big, one little. And they are the kind that have four wheels and can roll different directions. Fancy!
What else? Oh yes, I get to wear a lot of makeup and glitter as I backpack through Europe. And fake eyelashes. Who gets to do that while trekking through Europe? Me. It’s my job!
Speaking of which, I have a job while backpacking through Europe. That is pretty cool too. And you know what my job entails? People clapping for me. Yep, that’s right- people clap for me as I backpack through Europe.
Okay, maybe I glossed over the skating part, but it is true. This job makes people feel obligated to clap. Regardless of opinion, at the end of the show people are going to clap. They just will. So, in my head, I get paid to make people clap for me. And I feel pretty lucky about that. If I worked at a bank I am pretty sure no one would clap for me when I deposited their check.
One of our coaches, Cheryl , was trying to explain the novelty of this as we prepared for the World Championships last March. Because we knew World’s would be our final competition, she really wanted us to appreciate the experience. She told us how lucky we were to get to stand out on that ice and have so many people clap for us. She told us how no one clapped for her when she made a nice dinner for her family. And she told us that World’s would be one of our last opportunities to experience this.
I thought about that a few cities back, on Thanksgiving day. Brent and I have this moment backstage, each show, where we wonder “what have we done with our lives?!” It is right after we have done the running-man with some pigs and monkeys on the ice, and before we go do our program dressed as snakes. It is a moment filled with sadness and humor, both which were magnified when Brent grabbed my hands and said, “Hey. Happy Thanksgiving.” Anyways, I thought about Cheryl’s words. How we wouldn’t have the opportunity to stand on the ice and receive applause much longer. Little did Cheryl know that it would become our new job--to make people clap for us--alongside pigs and monkeys. Egg on your face much Cheryl?! ;>
