Fears

The tour will end in a week (what?! It ISN’T never-ending?!) and with this reality comes a whole set of fears.

I am worried about what will happen when I return home, wherever that may be.

For example, when I wake up in the mornings, will I immediately-- without knowing--walk down, up, or across to the ground floor of wherever I am and look for the free breakfast?  Will my stomach yearn for a baguette, butter and instant coffee (the staples of a nutritious breakfast)?

Will I be very interested in stealing food, hiding slices of cheese or green apples in my purse and jacket pockets, to save a little money and gain a little lunch?

Will I continue to believe that I am invisible and inaudible and not censor my language, lower my volume, or keep from pointing because I am confident that no one knows what I am saying or doing?

Will I understand that it may be less excusable to wear the same clothes three days in a row or realize that discovering new ways to layer the same few articles of clothing may not be looked upon with admiration?

And a big one-  Will I know how to speak English?

Like many other cast members I had grandiose ideas of learning French on tour (oddly none of us thought much of learning German.)  Yet sadly it turns out that learning French in such an international setting (that being the show) is pretty hard.  Not only that, but keeping up with proper English is equally difficult.  Broken English is the show speak.

It is for that that I say me, and propose at you, can I will to speak English when I arrive home?  I write now some common show speak/things I learn from my friends of the show:

It’s for that (Because of that)

I say me  (I said to myself)

Do you laugh of me?  (Are you laughing at me?)

Are you killing me?  ( Are you kidding me?)

Take one glass (Get a drink)

Up up (a little buzzed)

Up up up (drunk)

Up up up up (full on drunk)

I propose at you  (I suggest)

Full Power! (100% effort)

Yeeeep! (a sound effect that describes anything and everything.  “I woke up to my alarm going ‘Yep, yep, yep!’ and I was like, ‘Yep.” Then I brushed my teeth and my toothbrush was like ‘Yeeeeep.’”)

For sure...followed by anything.  (For sure we can skate after the show.  For sure the soup today is mushroom soup.)

Baracks Obama (Barack Obama)

Thanks God (Thank God)

I refuse! (No thank you)

Green hair (Grass)

Little red boy (Santa Claus)

What do you prefer? (What would you like to do?)

Toes (Teeth)

Teeth (Toes)

What day are we? (What day is it?)

So, it’s for that that I worry.  

Night Out In Nancy

Night Out In Nancy

I had one of my favorite nights on tour last night.  There was just a small group of us (Brent, Charlene, Marie, and myself) in a pretty empty dance club.  This is one of my favorite scenarios: fun people, good music, plenty of dance floor.

There was a young looking guy named Patrick, maybe nineteen or twenty years old, with two friends.  He was very friendly and asked us where we were from.  We asked him what he was currently doing in Nancy, and he told us that he was a student.

I asked him, “Oh what do you study?”

He replied, “It is hard to explain. Hmmm, I study electricity.”

Brent then chimed in excitedly, “Do you know Benjamin Franklin?!”

The boy looked a bit confused, said something I couldn’t quite hear, and then answered, “Yes.”

Brent then yelled, “He invented electricity!” and pumped his fist.

Charlene, who is French, stepped away and went to a bar stool.  She stood there trying to compose herself, stifling laughs and wiping tears from her eyes.  Marie and I figured she was just embarrassed, but of French people, American people, or boys, we did not know.

Well, it turns out that there is a popular children’s television show that has a turtle character named Franklin.  What our new friend Patrick had said when Brent asked, “Do you know Benjamin Franklin?” was “Franklin the tortue?”

The equivalent to this scene “back home” I imagine goes something like this:

You are at a local bar on a quiet Sunday night and you see a group of French people.  You want to practice your French a little so you go over and ask the group where they are from, etc.  They ask you what you are doing in the town you are in and after you say you are a student, they ask what you are studying.

You are studying aerospace engineering, but that is a bit hard to explain so you reply, “Space.”

Then a really excited French guy lights up and says, “Do you know Dora the Explorer?!”

And you are like, “Yeaaaah.”

And he yells, “She invented the space shuttle!” as he high fives someone next to him.