Happy 2012!  

We had a fun night out in Munster, Germany to ring in the new year.  

Something I have learned about the Germans is that they love fireworks.  Not the big professional kind, but the smaller ones we typically buy for the Fourth of July.  These here must be really safe though, because there is zero caution used with them.  They are lit with cigarettes, thrown over people heads, and into buildings.

Craziness, but super fun.  

So, something I learned about myself this past week is that I apparently have this goal for tour: 

I WILL NOT cry on the job.  

Last year was an emotional roller coaster.  We couldn’t quite find our confidence within the show, we were coming to terms with a nomadic existence, and we encountered entirely too much behind the scenes drama.  

This lead to some crying.  Yuck.

Since last year I have realized a lot about this job. And learned a lot about life.

And boy, if anything is clear to me, it is this:  no tears should be shed while wearing a snake outfit, or really any skating outfit (unless you are laughing of course.)

So, last Monday we were a bit tired, and we took a fall that scared me.  And disappointed me too, of course.  And I was tired, as I already mentioned.  But in that moment, in a moment where some therapeutic crying would have felt so good, I was surprised to find myself using what energy I had left to hold it all back.

As my boyfriend has often advised me to do, I just pushed my emotions way deep down.

You see, crying is sadly something that comes easy to me.  I feel like my tears are always right there, on stand-by, ready to reveal themselves at any possible moment.  You know those cool friends who are down for anything, always looking for a good time, and always ready to party?  Well, my tears are just like that, except exactly the opposite.

It sucks, but I do know I am in good company.  I have a friend (true story! I don’t pay her or nothing!) who has the simple goal of not crying on holidays. Kinda like me with my job!  She has started with baby steps, tackling Grandparent’s Day and Labor Day first, but once she builds up her confidence I am convinced she will make it through Valentine’s Day and New Year’s tear-free.

  

On a lighter note, I did come up with another goal a few weeks back.  I would like to be able to execute a handstand by the end of tour.  I see people do handstands all the time and it looks like tons of fun.  Plus it makes for such a great Facebook profile picture.

Jane has agreed to be my handstand teacher and I must say, so far so good.  She has assigned me the homework of doing three handstands per day, with the assistance of the wall.  

Actually, first she had me try one handstand with a few people spotting, to asses where I was with my goal.

She assessed zero.

So, I have my homework, I have been doing it, and my handstands are getting more comfortable.

But here is my question:  Will all this hand-standing make it difficult to achieve the no crying goal?  If my tears always on the verge of spilling out, will they spill out easier if I turn upside down too much?

Sounds like I need to take this question to the streets.  And by streets I mean the dressing room.